Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
