You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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