Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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