No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk