i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize