Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero