hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?