my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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