I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize