saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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