there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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