I accidentally had phone sex last night
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.