Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
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Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon