he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sext me about skeletons
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.