Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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