My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize