I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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