Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
