her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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