yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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