i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
