he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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