if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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