I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize