There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
