smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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