Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
