We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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