kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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