Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
its not stalking. its research.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
