First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
whose parrot is this?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
