I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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