Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize