I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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