So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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