I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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