i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
