I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
