he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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