Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
