I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize