would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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