god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
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its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread