so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.