My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.