What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.