Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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