she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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