Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
