you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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