Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
