The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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