Someone shit on the floor
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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