Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
