She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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