I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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