Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
